Life as me
by Dranzaldehyde
Summary: Left alone to defend herself against the big, bad forces threatening to kill her, what is a girl to do? Definitely not this:“I’ll give you the Philosopher’s Stone, but,” Li hesitated before blurting out, “in exchange I want you to kill me.
1. Chapter 1

Life as me…

Chapter 1: Page one

The sudden thunderstorm was an ecstatic, if not shocking, surprise to the residents of the drought-ridden village of Kuyrai. For fifteen years now, the villagers had gazed at nothing but blue, cloudless skies and the scorching golden sun that beat down upon their hard, weary backs as they worked diligently on their parched-up and dry lands in the hopes that one day the rain god would glance down upon them with favor from his high perch up in the sky.

So it was no little amount celebration and joy that was running rampant from every tavern corner and street. Most of the residents had come out of their houses, their universal blue-red eyes literally bulging out of their heads as they soaked up the sight of such a tremendous miracle. They danced; they sang, and thanked their holy lord for hearing their prayers and granting their wishes.

The rain poured down upon their heads in harsh, slicing sleets as they stood two days later in the village square. A tall, rectangular, cemented stage, recently roofed was the village's square. It had been built in the late seventeenth century and was believed to have been used mainly to execute people as there were ancient chains still soldered to the center of the block. Recently it had been roofed-in, but still the people refused to take shelter inside it. Their joy at the gift they had just received triumphed over the cold, bone-shilling wind, but every one of them had sworn that they would not carry an umbrella for it would be an insult to their hard-won miracle.

So there they stood, their rain-drenched clothes clinging to their wet backs, waiting in the village square for the head priest to begin with the speech he had prepared to put their miracle into perspective and to push the constantly-increasing atheists in the right way of God and religion. And if the recent news was to be believed, this speech was a long time in coming.

As the head priest, Father Laggan, waited inside the ancient church built beyond the village square, he pondered upon the recent rising to the west. Kuyrai, tiny enough to avoid the Military's eagle eye, but large enough to house a population of nearly 1200 people, bordered the dreary, desolate deserts just south of what remained of Ishbal. Although the entire village was completely surrounded by a thick, brick wall which acted like a fortress for the villagers, 'twas still a miracle how the tiny village had survived the Military's assault upon Ishbal. Father Laggan made the sign of the cross, sending up a quick prayer of gratefulness for protecting His precious children and prayed for all the souls that had departed this beaten earth in that war.

But that was not what worried him now. There was still the Military and if the movement to the west gathered force and support from the Military… Only God could truly know what would happen then….

"Quite a turn out, eh?" a voice called out behind him.

Father Laggan turned around and smiled at his newly appointed subordinate, Father Matthew. Father Matthew had long blond hair that hung just below his collar and the most unusual violet eyes anyone had ever seen. He wore the long white robe of their clergy that signified that they were men of the cloth, a long black cross hanging from the sacred chain hanging around his waist. Laggan had first been unsure about appointing this young man to such an elated position of guard and assistant to himself, and to all the future head priests of Kuyrai, but he had soon overcome his reticence and skepticism when he saw the younger priest's diligence and enthusiasm at being asked to serve his master.

Laggan smiled again but this time his smile was sad, one that didn't wrinkle the corners of his periwinkle eyes as it always did; Laggan was still caught up in his own worries and anxieties about the future of Kuyrai.

"Yes, quite right, Father Matthew."

Laggan turned away to glance at the crowd behind partially opened white-washed doors. With a forlorn sigh, he pulled the doors open, knowing he could no longer procrastinate in addressing the crowd. When the crowd caught sight of their head priest, applause such as that that would rival the thunder above their heads roared up from the crowd. Shouts, good-humored jeers, and some banner waving heralded his arrival as he slowly made his way down the church steps to the slick wooden platform they had constructed from the church steps to the village square just for this occasion. As soon as Laggan started down the steps, about five priests sprang up from their position beside the great white-washed doors of the church and flanked him on either side, meaning to protect him from any stray bullet or arrow, if the atheists were so inclined. One held up an umbrella in preparation to make the short walk from where the eaves of the church ended to the village square, so that the priest wouldn't get his robes wet, but just as soon as he had gotten it open he was jeered and yelled at cruelly by the crowd to lower it down. Laggan signaled him to lower the umbrella, plastering a wide smile upon his face for the sake of the crowd.

"Father-," Father Matthew, who had just now joined the group of five, began but stopped abruptly when the head priest held up one hand to silence him.

"If you're worried about the atheists, don't be. This speech will change their minds about insurrection." Laggan smiled once more as he slowly stepped out onto the platform. The rain instantly drenched his white, clerical robes but he held on tight to his resolve and would not dare to show the people his discomfort.

"Father, I think-"Father Matthew began again, intent on telling Laggan what was bothering him.

"Father Matthew, if you're worried about the speech notes, don't be. I have them in my pocket."

"Yes, Father, but the problem-"

"The problem? We haven't a problem my good man! Everything is fine. Don't worry so much!"

"But, Father, can you see-?"

"The colorful banners people are waving at me to show their good spirits? Yes, I can see them clearly. I don't know what you're so worried about Father Matthew, because the people are all here, even the atheists, and they are all in good cheer even though they are standing in this cold rain,"- his teeth began to chatter then as if to imply his point-" and I have my speech notes. What more could I ask for?"

"Yes, Father, but you-"

"Father Matthew, I've had enough of this. Stop trying to interrupt me."

Father Matthew instantly shut up, his face going beat red from barely suppressed rage. i 'I'm interrupting b him /b ? Well, he can't say I didn't try to stop him.' /i

The procession stopped when they reached the edge of the stage. As soon as they entered the roofed-in stage, they started shake themselves like a dog would shake to rid itself of the wet raindrops. They separated, three priests going to the right and the rest going to the left as the head priest walked up to the black mike to make his all-important speech. Father Matthew watched as Father Laggan slowly tapped the mike to see if it was on and cleared his throat as he took out his speech notes. He held them up, over the mike, and squinted down at them. A frown marked his countenance, but he began anyway, squinting horribly at the card before him.

"I would…. Uh…. Like to bank… uh, no… thank all of you for cumming… good lord,… uh, thank all of you… for coming here to-day. If I may… afford… uh,….. offer… an apoplexy…. Mmm…. an apology… for…. Peaking…. Um, being…. Subject to this atrocious speech." The priest shook his head, as if trying to shake the sin from the words he had just uttered. Cumming? Peaking? How was he ever going to live this down?

i 'Well, he can't say I didn't try to stop him from making the speech without his spectacles.' /i

The tavern Dunzing was alight with celebration and raucous laughter. As the thundering rain pounded against the roof and walls of the tavern outside, the people sat inside, sprinkled in cozy circles either in arm chairs or sitting at the table playing a friendly game of cards. The mood in the tavern's common room was one of joy and friendly bluster as one after the other reiterated the priest's speech word for word. Drink- ale, beer whisky and for the classy "out-of-towners" blue-red wine- flowed freely as the bartender poured drinks after drinks for his thirsty customers as the whores flamboyantly offered an entirely different type of refreshments to the customers.

The door suddenly slammed open and two strangers, their face hidden from the candlelight that burned inside the tavern, stood at the threshold, their backs glistening as the rain pounded upon them with an almost harsh cruelty. They were both such a contrast to each other that the villagers couldn't help gawking at the strange pair. One was short, only five feet tall or even less while the other was easily over 6 feet, maybe even seven. The short one was normal in build compared to his friend, who was huge.

Light suddenly caressed their faces as they entered the tavern and closed the door on the wind and the rain. The candle glinted off the small one's golden hair and people watched mesmerized as he made his way over to the bar, shaking the rain off his red coat. They had never seen one like the likes of him before. It was an unusual occurrence for anyone to visit their little town since it wasn't exactly known for anything. They weren't overly rich; their land was good for farming but since rain had never graced their fields the visitors usually didn't come for buying land around here. So why was the little boy and his friend here?

The crowd in the tavern turned as one to look at the other visitor. They were even more taken aback than with the first.

"An armor!" A whore gasped. She was sitting on the lap of richly dressed gentleman who also openly gaped at the armored visitor, the weight on his lap long-forgotten.

"Yes, he's in an armor," The boy at the bar responded a bit irritated. "They won't do anything but gape," the boy called to his friend. "Come over here and sit down, Al." He indicated the stool to his right.

"I know, brother," called out the armor as he started to walk across the bar, trying to ignore the whispered conversations that swirled around him.

"He can talk!"

"An armor that can talk? That's unreal… I think we should.."

"Idiot, didn't you hear him? There's a person inside that armor…"

"Yes, an armor can't walk by itself, can it now? And he did call the short one there, 'brother'. Do you think they're brothers?"

"That's atrocious! They are nothing alike!"

"And how would you know?"

"Obviously, that one there likes wearing an armor and the shorty doesn't. That should tell you they are not brothers… really…"

"Maybe he's a magician or something…. Magicians know how to make an armor walk…"

"Maybe he's just fooling us…"

"Why did they come here? We never get visitors!"

"That doesn't mean they aren't brothers…"

"That doesn't mean they are either…"

"Maybe it's just…"

"What you'd like shorty?" The bartender asked, wiping a glass clean and placing it in front of the small one. He missed the vein bulging from the short one's head as he said, "shrimp cocktail?" The common room erupted into laughter at that joke.

"Who-are-you-calling-a-shrimp-that-just-waddled-in-from-the-seas-because-all-the-other-shrimps-think-he's-too-short-to-be," the short one exploded, his fists furiously banging against the tabletop as he struggled against the armor's tightly locked arms and fought furiously to have a go at the bartender.

"Brother, calm down. He didn't say anything like that." The armor let go of the short one and patted him on the shoulder to get him to calm down.

"Ok," the short one mumbled as he lowered his head and took a sip of his drink, muttering vague, incoherent promises of revenge into his drink.

"Did you hear how the atheists all laughed during Father Laggan's speech. Poor man. If I were him, I would give up my position instantly and go hide in one of the turrets," a villager sitting to the short one's left was saying to his companion as he took a swig of his drink. "They are really a violent lot. I don't know how Father Laggan keeps insisting upon them to come to mass every Sunday."

"Yeah. But Father Laggan is really brave and a good man too. He can protect us. And God will also protect us. He always says to put our problems in the hands of God and that He will take care of it for us. Isn't that nice?"

"Yes, but if the Military gets word that Father Laggan used to… You know," he shifted his eyes towards the two visitors and silently pleaded that his companion wouldn't tell what Father Laggan had done to the Military. He was now remorseful that he had brought up the subject in front of strangers.

"Excuse me?" The short one tapped the man on the shoulder. "But I was just wondering…" he trailed off, hesitant for a second before plunging on ahead, "what about the Military?"

"Well, shorty boy, it's none of your business what our Father Laggan did or did not do with the Military." The man sent a look at his companion as if to ask, 'where did this boy come from anyway?'

"Stop calling me shorty. My name is Edward Elric and I'm not a boy," the short one said. He lifted his coat and picked up the state alchemist watch the Military had given him. "I'm in fact a State Alchemist!" He grinned proudly.

The other man's eyes bulged out of his head as he looked at the watch. "A State Alchemist?!!"

"A State Alchemist, eh?" his companion snorted in disgust. "So you here to spy on us?"

"No! No, nothing like that!" The armor hastened to assure them. "My name is Alphonse Elric. We are here to help you."

"Just let me get this straight, Alphonse Elric. The Military. Helping. Us. Where were you born, boy? The Military only seeks to crush us, not help us," the bar tender spoke up, hatred glowing in his blue-red eyes.

"Do you think us so ignorant that we'd actually forget what happened to our neighbors? The Ishbalans?" the man to Ed's left yelled, his voice bitter.

"You're right," Ed said, deciding that a hasty agreement would placate their flared tempers. They looked to be big men and he didn't want to hurt them. " We were just curious because our superior sent us here to suppress the Atheist movement. He would like to avoid bloodshed. We are just trying to find out what started this Atheist movement in the first place."

"The Military is trying to suppress the Atheists? Well why didn't you say so, boy?" the bartender asked, his eyes again turning cheerful and friendly as he slapped a hand on the Ed's shoulder.

"I'm not a boy. I'm a man." Ed muttered.

"How old are you anyway?"

"Fifteen going on sixteen."

"You're still a boy," the bartender declared. Ed looked as if he were going to hit him but Al patted him on the shoulder again and Ed nodded.

"You're brother must've been about 20 or something when you were born then. Look how tall he is," the bartender remarked refilling Ed's cup.

"He's fourteen," that muttered resentfully.

"WOW!" The bartender look Al with amazement in his eyes. "What kind of-?"

"Well, let's get on with the Military business, shall we?" Ed suddenly interrupted, irritated.

"Yeah, well what do you wanna know?"

"Start with how the Atheists were formed."

"Well, Kuyrai was a peaceful village until a man named Gary Lester arrived about 15 years ago. He took up residence at the house just opposite my tavern, and I must tell you me and my wife feared him. He had such an unusual look about him and every time he passed someone they always got down on the ground and made the sign of the cross. He was such an awful man with the most unusual violet eyes and brown hair. After he arrived, Kuyrai was plagued by bad luck. We had no rain and our crops were all dying. That's when the drought started. People believed that Gary was responsible for bringing God's bad favor upon them and they wanted to banish him."

"But, as you can see your bad luck has run out…," Ed pointed a finger at a misted window near the door.

"Yes," the bartender got an ominous gleam in his eyes," But Gary died three days ago. At the exact moment the rains started."

"Oh."

"Yeah. But when Gary was alive, he was so angry that the people wanted to banish him, he formed a group of young soldiers and attacked the village. He called himself God and told us that he alone had the right to let or take the villager's lives and no one could stop him. But their attack wasn't successful. We were trained to protect the village in case the Military decided to attack us. But the group did get away with murdering one old couple who lived in the very outskirts of the village and kidnapping their 10-year-old grandson."

"What happened to the boy?" Al asked.

"No one knows. He just disappeared."

"When did this happen?" Ed asked, his tone grim and serious.

"Twelve years ago."

"So the boy must be about 22 now, right?" Al asked.

"Probably. But no one knows where he is."

"Interesting. So what happened to Gary Lester?" Ed asked.

"He was imprisoned, but we gave the boys a chance to come back and live peacefully. You see, after they left to join up with Gary Lester they were changed. Our village has been a purely catholic community. But these boys… they diverted from the right path. They wanted to believe that God had forsaken them and that Gary Lester was now their God. Gary began preaching about his own religion then, with him as God, and we knew he was crazy then. He was imprisoned in the village's one cell prison and the boys refused to come back home to their parents and now live in an isolated house near the west gate."

"So what do they do now that their leader is dead?" Ed asked.

"They just walk through the village, mocking and pushing people. They never hurt them, they just try to scare them and run off laughing their heads off and screaming about a great reward awaiting them. They've become just as crazy as their leader. But we can't do anything about it. They are just children and we never kill children. That's why the head priest Father Laggan is trying to get them to convert to catholic by forcing them to come to mass every Sunday. They usually sit in the back row and sleep off or make raucous noise. It's really terrible and disrespectful to Father Laggan, but they don't care."

"Now the Father has to fear for his life." The one sitting beside Ed told him.

"Yeah. Now he has to have these five other priests guarding him day and night after that incident where the Atheists tried to shoot him in bed late one night. He was ok, since he wasn't really in bed that night and they got Father Martin instead. That was really sad but still our Father was saved. God really looked out for him!" the other finished and took a gulp of his drink.

"They wanted to hang the Atheists then, didn't they, Arl?" The one sitting beside Ed said to his companion.

"Yeah. They should've hung them. They are crazy."

"Yeah, they are crazy. But Father wouldn't let them. He's too kind-hearted by half."

"What I don't get is, where is the boy now?" Arl asked to his companion.

"Did they convert him then? Into Garyism?"

Ed leaned back as the bartender bustled away from them to take care of another customer's order. He tapped Al and pulled him down to whisper, "I don't think we'll find the Philosopher's Stone in this village. They are simple farmers. Mustang was wrong in sending us this way."

"Excuse me? You're looking for the Philosopher's Stone?" a feminine voice heralded their attention to a cloaked figure to Al's left. A girl of about 14 was sitting there, silently sipping her drink. Her expression was grim and Ed could see that she remained isolated from the celebration. She had long dark hair that framed her heart-shaped face and pert little nose. She had the familiar blue-red eyes that signified her a Kuyrain.

"Yes," Ed said, gulping down hard to keep from showing his excitement at having found a lead, or what looked like a possible lead. "Do you know where we could find one?"

"I might," the girl said evasively.

"Please, could you tell-"

"My name is Li." The girl suddenly said, smiling. The change in topics was palpable, even to him.

"I'm Edward Elr-"

Li held up one hand to stop him. "I know who you are. You're famous."

"Yeah? I might've done a good deed or two. Not too much, 'cause I don't want to strain myself, but hey, I do like helping-"

"Brother! The stone?" Al poked him in the side.

The girl suddenly laughed.

"You tricked me, didn't you? You deliberately tried to distract me!" Ed said, a vein popping in his head.

"Now brother calm down! She wasn't.-"

"Come on, Al! She's just trying to get us all worked up about a possible lead. She probably doesn't even know what a Philosopher's Stone looks like."

"I know what it looks like because I've seen it. And I know where you can find one," Li said, her voice grim as if she were announcing someone's death. "But I have one condition."

"Name your price," Ed said, his heart racing once more.

"I'll give you the Philosopher's Stone, but," Li hesitated before blurting out, "in exchange I want you to kill me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Life as _me_**

_Chapter 2: Page Two_

Nothing more than a faint whisper of feet and a silhouette moving against the various shadows, heralded by the fall of night, bespoke of the figure moving stealthily towards the Atheist headquarters. He was careful, maybe a bit too careful, not to be seen by anyone, living or dead. He was good, the man, standing at the window, thought, more than a little pleased at the spy's discretion in covering up his tracks, if for any reason someone should follow him, which none of them were since the villagers had yet to suspect that something foul was afoot.

The man turned his back on the window and leaned back until his hip rested against the sill. He proceeded to wait for the spy to get here so as to impart the latest happenings in the village. There were so many, after all, ever since the head priest had made it his personal mission to suppress their beliefs and teachings. He sneered at the thought that a weak old man could think to reform the few remaining Atheists still protesting against the church's edicts.

'_Stupid, old man! You think you can correct our beliefs with boring speeches and insignificant 'miracles'? I'd like to see you try.'_

A creak and a soft humming noise lured his attention away from his impassioned thoughts. He looked up. A barely discernible figure, cloaked in a raggedy old coat, was standing against the closed door leading to the room. The man raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed.

'_Impressive. I didn't even see him enter the room.'_

He folded his hands across his arms and stared down at the figure standing beside the door. It was small, almost girlish in both figure and height. But that was about the only thing he could say for certain about the spy. Although he was the leader of the Atheists and had personally hired this particular assassin to spy on the villagers, he had never seen his face. The spy had always kept it shielded by his cloak, or at times such as these, preferred dark rooms in which he could be assured that he wouldn't be identified, not even by his employer.

'_Interesting'_

What news do you have for me?"

The shadow moved away from the door. He watched it silently as it moved towards the left and picked up something that was lying on the table. The spy threw it up in the air. It flipped around and around like a globe before falling with a soft thump into it's projector's palm. He watched as the spy's long, gloved fingers curled around the object possessively.

"Fullmetal is here."

"Fullmetal?" He made a disgusted sound and then followed it by a stream of curses that spoke of unconcealed hatred and bitterness. "Why isn't Mustang here?"

"I don't know, sir," the spy replied sincerely. When that answer earned a baleful growl from his employer, he quickly hastened to amend his employer's fiery temper by adding, "I could find out, sir."

"Why the hell am I paying for?!" the man yelled, close to the brink of his self-control. He hadn't lost his temper since his youth and he was barely able to control himself from flying at the spy for not doing his job properly. "Find out, and hurry back with some answers, damn it!"

"Ye-yes sir!" The spy bowed obsequiously, rushing to do his employer's bidding. He turned around and opened the door, ready to get the angry man his answers. He stopped abruptly at the threshold, as something occurred to him.

"What am I do to with Fullmetal?" he asked without bothering to turn around

"Fullmetal? Well, abduct him and bring him to me."

"Why?"

"Why he'd make a nice addition to my collection. I have almost all of the State Alchemists' powers now. He'd make a fine addition, indeed." His employer grinned, not in the least perturbed about the subject.

The spy's back stiffened. But before his employer could comment upon it, his spine slackened and he left the room just as quietly as he'd entered it.

* * *

_Meanwhile, tiny men have been let loose in the big, bad world_

The night was a stark contrast to the bright-lit tavern he had just left. There was no moon to guide his way and no lamps dotting the streets through which he ran. In fact, he couldn't see more than ten feet in front of him, but he refused to be discouraged by the closing darkness. He had finally found a lead to the muchly-sought-after Philosopher's Stone and the lead had run away from him before giving him some legible answers! And he was getting tired of being disappointed over and over again! He wanted the answers to their long-never-ending search and he wanted them now!

He came a screeching halt, the heels of his boots kicking up dust as he nearly missed plowing into seven-foot square figure wrapped in shadows.

"Ed!" Al shouted as Ed doubled over, trying to catch his breath. He looked tired and pretty dazed. His hands- the fleshy one and the metal one- were both resting on his knees; a drop of sweat dribbled over the edge of his brow and ran down the side of his cheek. He looked up through the fringes of his hair and fixed Al with a chiding glare.

"Al! You gave me a heart attack. Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"I never sneak up, brother. How can a seven-foot suit of armor sneak up on people?"

"I don't know, Al…." Ed mumbled, disgusted with himself for letting his guard down. Al was right. Ed should have heard his movements. But it wasn't exactly his fault for not paying attention. He was too busy trying to find that girl and that lead she had dangled in front of their noses. His mind was too filled with questions. What had that girl meant by "You have to kill me, if you want the stone?" That was a weird request to ask of someone you've just met. And why did she want to die?

"Brother, look, someone's coming!" Al lifted his finger and pointed directly in front of them.

"Where?" Ed said, squinting his eyes to adjust to the humid darkness of the night. A slight movement emphasized the figure walking towards them. It stopped just ten feet from them. Suddenly a small light flickered and in the next moment the street was flooded with bright orange light from the flickering flame of an old lantern. Ed was so startled by the sudden light he took a step back and nearly tripped over. He looked up and was even more startled to see the girl, Li, standing in front of him, holding the lantern. Or maybe it was the way that she was looking at him, that startled him. She looked like she almost pitied him. He was surprised because, yeah, sure people had pitied him and his brother, but still the way she was looking at him… was entirely too unnerving….

"Mighty rich of you to tell us you know where the stone is and then take off like that."

Ed's face was flushed from-anger, he decided stubbornly.

She gave him a look that said, "Duh". Then she slowly lifted the lantern up and jingled it by its creaky, old handle.

"To get my lantern, of course. We might need some light, if we're gonna come to a proper decision. My future depends on this, you know. If you don't want to, then it's fine. I'm sure I can find another pipsqueak-"a vein popped angrily in Ed's temple at the title-"Alchemist. Although you're probably the only one who's about 2' feet"- another vein popped in Ed's head-"I mean, all the alchemists I've met so far were so tall, I could barely see where their head ended and the sky began! But, I'm not really sure I want a chipmunk-"Now Al is trying to hold back a fuming Edward-"to take care of this little business of finishing me off… Hmm…" She turned around, biting her lower lip in deep pensiveness, completely oblivious to Ed's currently skyrocketing stress level.

"Who-are-you-calling-a-tiny-microscopic-munchkin-who-? "Before he deluge her with his anger, she interrupted him with a tiny cough.

"I have to do this, State Alchemist." Her tone was grim and her shoulders straightened with perceptible inner determination. "If you can't do this for me, if you can't kill me, then let's not waste our time speaking of trivialities in this frigid night air."

"I have a question, Ms. Li," Al asked, leaning forward and touching the girl's shoulder in a friendly gesture. Although his grip was whisper soft, she still jumped and turned around with surprised eyes, as if she had just now realized that the chipmunk- for she had decided that that was what she would stubbornly call him from now on- had not been alone. In fact, she _had_ forgotten about the chipmunk's brother. _Shit!_she mentally cursed to herself. _'Calculate all of your enemies' weaknesses and strengths before you decide upon a point of attack.'_ That had been the first lesson she had ever learnt. The brother might be an hindrance to her plans.

Well, she'd just have to get rid of him, won't she?

_Too bad for you, tin can._

"Yeah, we have a few questions to ask you, Horn head." Ed replied, smiling victoriously as he saw Li's face darken with anger.

"Who-are-you-calling-an-horn-head, you-pint-sized-shrimp?!"

"Who-are-you-squeaky-mushroom-head?"

"Brother," Al began placatingly, before the argument became too circular. "Ms. Li, we would like to get to the point please. What did you mean that you know where the Philosopher's Stone? Do you have it now?"

"Of course, I don't have it now! It's too precious to keep it on my person. But I do have it!"

"Ok! Let's go get it, then!" Ed said, his voice turning cheerful and happy. He started to walk away from them, apparently caught up in his own daydreams about the Philosopher's Stone.

Yes! He was finally going to have the Philosopher's Stone. And the first thing he was going to do was return his brother's body back to him and then…. Ed rubbed his hands together in delicious excitement. He was finally going to be whole again! No more auto mail! No more Winry throwing stupid wrenches at his head! His life was going to be complete again. He couldn't wait!

"Um…. You never agreed to the deal, you know," A really irritating voice interrupted his lovely dreams of a future with all his body parts intact. He turned around.

"Will you please stop talking and just tell us where the stone is?!" he yelled at her. _Difficult. Always interrupting, and just when I was getting to the best part. Ok, now after I get my body back, I'll…_

"No deal, no stone," Li finally bit out, folding her arms across her chest in a resolute stance. The lamp bounced back and forth between her fingertips, throwing discordant shadows upon her brown cloak.

All of Ed's dream shattered in a minute.

"What?!! No way, am I agreeing to kill you!"

"But you have to." She smiled a cunning smiled. Ed was sure that that was the smile the fox always gave its prey just before devouring it. "Unless of course you don't want the stone anymore." She started to turn away when she was halted by two loud protests. She smiled to herself. She had them now. All she had to do now was play her cards right and she'd have them eating out of her hand. Especially that Fullmetal munchkin.

She turned around and smiled at them, one edge of her mouth going slightly higher than the other. "So we have a deal?" Her voice sounded hopeful enough.

"Not until you tell me why you want us to kill you so badly?" Ed asked, folding his arms across his chest and fixing her with a 'I'm going to read your mind now, so don't you dare lie to me'

That irritated her. How dare he think to read her mind. Did he think himself so superior? Just because a stupid watch branded one of them Military Dogs?

"I'm not answerable to your questions. Do you agree to the deal or not?"

"No." That simple reply managed to surprise her and infuriate her at the same time. How dare he say not to her? To the Philosopher's Stone?

Before she could manipulate them into recanting their decision, Edward turned away from her.

"Come on, Al. I think we'd better get going."

Wait a minute! This wasn't going at all the way she had planned!! She had to think! Improvise! Do something….

"Wait!" That garnered her a slightly curious glance from the two brothers." If I answer your question, will you agree to kill me?"

"I don't know…." Ed said evasively.

"I want to become a Homunculi!" she shouted, letting out her pent-up breath._There, she had said it._

"What?!!!" Both brothers gaped at her(well, she was sure that tin can was surprised as much as his brother was, although it was too difficult to detect his surprise with that armor).

"Why would you want to do _that_?" Al asked.

"Why else, Al? She's apparently lost her mind!" Ed replied, dryly.

What was surprising was that she agreed with him. She _had_ lost her freaking mind!

"I haven't lost my mind, mushroom-head." Suddenly an idea came to her and she started to walk towards them. She put one hand and each of their chest and pushed them apart to make some space for her to pass. She started walking away.

"I have a really good reason behind my request." She came to stop just ten yards away from them, directly in front of the faint outline of the darkened stage constructed in front of the church. Both brothers followed her until they were standing in front of her. Satisfied that they were at the appropriate distance to receive the full effect of the gut-wrenching blow they were gonna receive she brandished her lamp above her head and lifted it up as high as she could. "Take a look at this then."

Both brothers followed the direction of the lamp.

Ed felt as if the breath had been cut right out of him. "Holy…. Shit!"


End file.
